A Noise in the Boys Dorms
by nerdyninjaunicorn
Summary: Harry is most certainly surprised upon returning to the Common Room and hearing... RON AND HERMIONE? T cause I'm paranoid. Really paranoid.


**Disclaimer: If I were J..K. Rowling, why would I be writing FanFiction for my own series?**

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It was an ordinary night for Harry Potter. Although tonight many Hogwarts students had left to go to Hogsmeade, Harry, Ron, and Hermione stayed behind. Harry had just been in the kitchens, and had a cup of Butterbeer. But now, he was heading back to the Gryffindor Common Room.

After muttering "Snape's large nose," to the Fat Lady, he was just about to walk into the Common Room when he heard Hermione say "Well, what is it you need help with, Ron?"

Frozen, Harry strained to listen.

"It's a little embarrassing," Ron said awkwardly "But its been causing me a bit of stress, I can't figure it out..."

"Spit it out, Ron. I'm sure I'll be able to explain it to you."

At this moment, Harry noticed that he'd dropped a Knut on the floor. He bent over to pick it up, and missed what Ron had said.

"Oh, Ron," Hermione sounded amused "It's quite easy. I'm surprised your parents never told you how to do it. People do it everyday, Ron!"

Harry considered what this could mean, other than the blatantly obvious, to soothe the lump in his stomach.

"Can you show me how it's done?" Ron asked eagerly.

Harry, who always had a feeling that Ron and Hermione secretly loved each other, figured that this particular thing may happen sometime in the future, but not today. Certainly not today.

"Oh course, Ron!" Hermione laughed "It's easy. I've done it many times!"

Harry turned green. Hermione? Innocent, sweet, Hermione? His bossy, bookish, walking rule book of a best friend? He couldn't believe it. Simply could not believe it.

"Well, can we try it now?" Ron inquired.

"Sure. Lets head up to the boys dorms. I'll teach you there."

Harry stood, mystified in horror. Ron? And Hermione? Going to... Harry shuddered. But for some reason, as if he were possessed, he checked to see if they were still there.

After checking to see if the coast was clear, Harry sprinted towards the stairs. He wanted to make sure that they weren't going to do what it sounded like.

Standing outside the door, he heard Ron say "Ok, what do I do first?"

"Grip it tightly."

Harry nearly vomited.

"Oh, wait Ron," he heard Hermione say "It's broken. Near the bottom. Once you dip it in there, it'll all just come out."

Hermione appeared to be avoiding these words, Harry noticed. Maybe she hadn't done this before.

"Here. Lets use a muggle one. They work quite well. Nothing compared to what wizards use, however, but nonetheless, effective."

"God, Hermione," Ron said after a bit of silence "You are amazing."

Harry was frightened to what Hermione would say next.

"Thank you, Ronald," she said, sounding a bit embarrassed.

"So who'd you help with this before?"

"Oh, you're gonna do this first? Ok," Hermione sounded surprised, but not upset "I did show Viktor how to do this."

Harry was certain all color drained from his face. Hermione? And... Krum? Wouldn't that be illegal, he thought.

"Viktor?" Ron asked, annoyed "As in, Krum?"

Harry knew if Ron and Hermione were doing what it sounded like, Ron would be mad. Very mad.

"Yes. How many other Viktors do we know, Ron?"

Suddenly, Harry heard a loud snap. Next Hermione screamed.

"RON! OH MY GOD! IT'S EVERYWHERE! ITS GETTING IN MY HAIR! MAKE IT STOP!"

Harry almost dry heaved.

"I THOUGHT YOU DID THIS BEFORE!"

"I DID, BUT THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN! OH GOD!"

Suddenly, their screams died down. Hermione said upsettingly "Oh, Ron, my hair is a mess!"

"Sorry, Hermione," apologized Ron "I didn't mean..."

"It's all right," Hermione said a bit haughtily.

"No, I really feel bad."

"Ron, really, it's fine," Hermione sounded stressed "Lets just finish this up. I'll get you a new one," there was a pause "Now, put that there..."

Harry, by this point, was staring wide eyed at the door.

"Wait," Ron sounded panicked "What... Why's it red!"

"It's just the color it is, Ron."

"Oh."

"Now, continue."

There was a silence. After a while, Harry would hear murmuring something to Ron, a sharp slapping noise, and at times Ron would grunt frustratedly.

"Oh, Ron!" Hermione exclaimed a while later "You've done splendidly!"

"Really?" Ron asked excitedly.

"It's about the best one I've ever seen!"

After a silence, Ron murmured "Thank you, Hermione. I really do appreciate this."

"No need to thank me, Ron," Hermione said to him "You were spectacular."

"Well, all the same," Ron said nervously "I'm sorry. About you're hair."

"It's fine," Hermione reassured him "It'll wash out."

"Oh, thank God!" Ron said, relieved, "Thanks, Hermione."

"You're welcome, Ron," she said warmly.

But when Hermione stepped out, her bushy hair splattered with ink, looked down, she noticed Harry, sitting there, muttering "It's not real. It's just a dream," she decided to ignore him. This, Hermione thought, was the most interesting incident she had ever experienced. First, she helps one friend while addressing a letter to a muggle, makes him break a pen, and discovers another friend talking to himself. Today had been a strange day indeed.

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**A/N: Just so you know, Hermione was teaching Ron how to address a letter to a Muggle, because it seems like all a wizard has to do when owling a letter is tell the owl who to send the letter to. Then, he (Ron) got mad when Viktor was brought up and broke the pen. So the Hermione gave him a pen with red ink. Please review!**


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